Topic: Grandmother Tests

Ben Franklin and I are going to be best friends in the fall. I realized that I can sum up my tutorial topic in one sentence--I could explain it to my grandmother without getting theoretical (it's not really even steeped in theory, but English people are obligated to use some theory in our tutorials)--and that makes me feel like I've got a good topic. Dr. Wardi told us that if we could explain it to our grandmother and she'd get it, then we're set.

Chip Kidd talks about a different Grandmother Test in The Cheese Monkeys, and I always think about it when I see abstract art (because I do not understand abstract art in any abstract sense). So what you do is look at a painting and imagine that your grandmother has painted it. And if you think, "Wow, Grandma, that's amazing," then the painting's probably good. And if you think, "What the fuck were you smoking, Grandma?", then it's probably shit. For me, nine times out of ten, it's the latter. I tried this test in the abstract exhibit of the Carnegie. The only one that passed was the exhibit with animals in hotel rooms, and that might be because it was funny seeing peacocks on turned-down beds.

However, the Grandmother Test cannot be applied to other areas of life. For example, if you wanna kiss a lady (and you're a lady), you should not ask yourself whether or not your grandmother would kiss a lady. If you want to learn to ride a unicycle and juggle simultaneously, you should not ask yourself whether your grandma would want to ride a unicycle and juggle simultaneously. I'm not saying that your grandmother wouldn't want to do that; I'd just question her physical capabilities (being your grandmother and all).

In other non-grandmother news, I got the sweetest e-mail from one of my creative writing cohorts yesterday, and it makes me feel awesome about what I'm doing. It reminds me that I've chosen the right field (whether or not it's completely devoid of any marketable skills). All I know how to do is write, and I'm glad to hear from one of my peers that I'm actually doing something right with it.

Ben Franklin, let's do this thing.

PS. Also, can I talk about all the Chatham traditions I've been doing lately? Spring formal, senior happy hour, senior skit, the upcoming May Pole dance--dude. I've never been so involved in my life.