I was at work yesterday scanning groceries and bagging them and "have a nice night"-ing the customers even though it was three in the afternoon. I always say night because I usually work nights, and since everything about my job is automatic and mindless, that's what I say. Some customers think they're witty and say, "I'll have to get through the day first." I think they're assholes.
I was on one of the express registers and for some reason everyone decided to stampede the front end at once, so there were monster lines and I was whipping shit across the scanner as fast as humanly possible. I looked up at the next customer--some little blonde woman with screaming kids--smiled really goofy-like, and said hello. I was bagging her Cheerios and Hot Wheels cars when I go to grab the next item, which are banana peels.
I looked at the browning peels, looked at her, and then glanced over at circle of managers a few registers away who were laughing and talking to each other. "Um, we charge for produce by weight," I said.
She just looked at me and didn't say anything. You dumb shit, I wanted to say. Just because you have to placate your whining brats every five seconds doesn't mean you can put my shitty-but-loved job on the line due to your failed, deficient parenting skills. And her stupidity was holding up a whole line of impatient, upper-class shoppers with an overblown sense of entitlement. If you want to get into the whole morality business, yes, she stole from Wegmans, but I didn't give a shit about that. In fact, that was the last thing on my mind. I was just in minor disbelief that a) she wasn't saying anything (not even an "Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't know") because she didn't even realize what she did and b) she's how old, been to how many grocery stores, and didn't know that you weigh produce before you fucking eat it. Because when you eat a banana, it decreases the weight, and then you aren't paying full price for what you're buying. And then, I guess, you're branded a thief. A fucking dumb oblivious thief.
So do you know what I did? I laughed out loud, weighed the goddamn banana peels, and threw them away. It cost her fourteen cents. I was still laughing when I gave her the receipt. If idiots like that can have kids, goddamn, I should have a whole herd.
I was on one of the express registers and for some reason everyone decided to stampede the front end at once, so there were monster lines and I was whipping shit across the scanner as fast as humanly possible. I looked up at the next customer--some little blonde woman with screaming kids--smiled really goofy-like, and said hello. I was bagging her Cheerios and Hot Wheels cars when I go to grab the next item, which are banana peels.
I looked at the browning peels, looked at her, and then glanced over at circle of managers a few registers away who were laughing and talking to each other. "Um, we charge for produce by weight," I said.
She just looked at me and didn't say anything. You dumb shit, I wanted to say. Just because you have to placate your whining brats every five seconds doesn't mean you can put my shitty-but-loved job on the line due to your failed, deficient parenting skills. And her stupidity was holding up a whole line of impatient, upper-class shoppers with an overblown sense of entitlement. If you want to get into the whole morality business, yes, she stole from Wegmans, but I didn't give a shit about that. In fact, that was the last thing on my mind. I was just in minor disbelief that a) she wasn't saying anything (not even an "Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't know") because she didn't even realize what she did and b) she's how old, been to how many grocery stores, and didn't know that you weigh produce before you fucking eat it. Because when you eat a banana, it decreases the weight, and then you aren't paying full price for what you're buying. And then, I guess, you're branded a thief. A fucking dumb oblivious thief.
So do you know what I did? I laughed out loud, weighed the goddamn banana peels, and threw them away. It cost her fourteen cents. I was still laughing when I gave her the receipt. If idiots like that can have kids, goddamn, I should have a whole herd.
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